The Social Fretwork (Gets hacked)

"Everybody and their mums" are on Social Network websites these days. They have gone from being a murky hang out for long haired guitar-playing lotharios to an inescapable part of every day life. Used for everything from business networking, to organising parties, to managing your romantic relationships the age of the 'Online Persona' is truly upon us.


A few times now I have been presented with the defence from Social Network addicts that we should all be "Managing our online image" for both social and career success. To take this as anything but a passive activity frightens me a bit with enough things to manage in life but it does seem to be increasingly important to success. It was one evening last week when I was logged into Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and MySpace all at the same time that I started to feel like a bit of a digital harlot. However the alternative to crouching in the middle of this sprawling web of status updates and friend lists is fade into obscurity before you begin. I was recently told that a prolific Venture Capatalist "doesn't exist" due to his relative abscence from a quick Google search...


But I have alarming news for us all, the safety blanket of these online forums may be snatched all too soon. The scientific eye has turned to social networks and the suggestion is that they might be "undermining people's social skills and their ability to read body language" (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7898510.stm). A worrying thought, couple this with the ever present security risks and investing so heavily in our 'Online Persona' starts to look like a bit of a poison chalice. Even the overlord of the social network revolution is not immune to security breaches, with his own Facebook account being defaced to promote vaguely communist-style funding suggestions (http://tinyurl.com/4svl3px).


By far the most noticeable thing about Social Network use is the bizarre power which it exerts over everyday life. If you have seen 'The Social Network' then you will be familiar with Zuckerberg's aspiration to get people talking and blurring the line between online and real life by using terms like "I'll Facebook you" or "give me a poke". Whilst such comments would have previously raised a few eyebrows, they now flow through conversation as standard. The reality is that things have gone much further.


How many of us compulsively check various social networks as soon as we sit down at a computer? More to the point how many of us use them as a procrastination tool by diving into the inviting torrent of  human babble? The rampage of this kind of social interaction seems to have a shelf life however. Some argue that the reigning champ Facebook has not beaten the now defunct MySpace, but that both have simply had their day (http://tinyurl.com/36xna9c). How long will it be before we see today's "Are you on.....?" turn into tomorrow's "You are still on.....?!.


Personally I think Social Network Harikari will come to them all, so don't forget to back up your photos. (http://tinyurl.com/47mom3u)


**Update 1/2/11: "Nobody is safe" http://www.infoworld.com/d/adventures-in-it/no-ones-facebook-profile-safe-552

Geeks: The Fifth Emergency service

Everybody knows one, if not several. They are the retro gaming shirt-wearing, cable wielding, often ale drinking, Geek. Once shunned by society and left to their own devices in darkened rooms striving to collect every last coin on Sonic or building robot mods for their Gameboys (http://tinyurl.com/69c5pad), they are now growing in stature.


Far from being the outcasts of society the geek label is now a ticket to ride. Businesses across the land are calling out for Geeks to keep their offices running and the emails flowing. They build the gadgets which we use, and the software which runs them. They craft the visual effects in films which we watch, and provide the means for us to zip around the internet poking and twittering away like crazy.


What would the blackberry clutching, Ugg boot wearing class of ladies do if it wasn't for the tireless work of geeks? Many an ice queen has been melted by the heroic rescue of a Geek in shining armour. It always amuses me to watch the interaction between a so called Geek and someone that has realised they are entirely powerless after wading into the technological quagmire of the digital age.


If you drill down into the majority of companies, particularly start ups, I guarantee you wont have to look hard to find a techie whose responsibility and power within the organisation has sky-rocketed in recent times (although if you asked many Geeks they might venture that perhaps salaries haven't quite rocketed to the same degree). In times gone by the question might have been "Should we do it?" or "Can we afford it?", in my experience these questions often fall slightly out of focus when the technical specialist strolls into the room and calmly declares that "There is no way that will work, *insert brief but damning technical reason*"


This strangely gladiatorial signal of approval has given rise to a new seat in the boardroom. Office 'Alpha geeks' (http://tinyurl.com/6gjl6wc) now take their seat at the table and regularly have the last word in meetings. The Geek community has even captured the attention of fashionistas across the world with 'Geek chic' becoming ever more popular (http://tinyurl.com/6h6cuqf) and modal followers donning thick glasses and Mario backpacks with relish. They do say that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery...


If you know such a person, might I suggest that you be nice to them. They are the new Knights of the round table, the modern day patron saints, and the gladiatorial heavyweights in a ring full of technology which wants to rough you up. Whether you think these titles deserved or not, just be glad that they are on hand next time your laptop dies (I know I am).


Remember a geek is for life, not just for emergencies.


**Update 26/1/11: Geeks rejoice, one step closer to Star Wars! http://tinyurl.com/4re7pt6

Eating frogs and working smart

I am currently embroiled in the University-wide joy that is the exam period. The library is full and the campus is occupied mostly by people who look like they've had a few too many coffees and not enough sleep. Stand still for more than 30 seconds and you will invariably here the low drone of nervous candidates discussing their various exam hurdles and how best to tackle them without coming a cropper.


Personally I think it is all a bit silly, and I have a question for all those currently tearing their hair out. How much time do you spend working and how much time do you spend stressing? All too often people seem to think that hunching behind a mound of paper and hastily assembled text books will allow them to magically absorb a wealth of required information. Lever arch folders become shields and post it note deployment becomes a strategic art form.


What should we really be doing? Well my argument comes back the old adage of "Working smart, not hard". Ever had someone in your class or office who manages to turn up with minutes to spare before a deadline or meeting and pull together what you consider to be a "fluke" in the form of a brilliant performance. If you look a little closer, chances are it was no fluke, they simply work on a plane of efficiency most of us don't even know exists.


Today's alchemy is turning time into gold. It is sitting down and bashing out a piece of coursework after just the right amount of further reading. It is pulling together a powerpoint a few hours before the meeting which looks polished but is still fresh in your mind. And to all those who are currently revising, I say that efficiency is starting your revision early, and stopping not when you get bored, but when you feel full. Not to be confused with a food coma from late night pizza binging in University Libraries during the wee hours, I am referring to that feeling where you stop learning new information and start clinging to books like a life-ring.


From my experience in business the old 80-20 rule is king. If you are a half decent worker then you will get most of the way there in your initial foray into a task. Time spent after this tipping point (which in truth I think most people could identify if they stopped to think) is often wasted and it provides sod all in the way of added value. Without doubt one of the best things you can do is learn to "Eat your frog" as Brian Tracy suggests: (http://tinyurl.com/6fbcqmk) 


I appreciate of course that there are an intangible amount of approaches when it comes to working efficiency, but why not do yourself a favour and take 10 minutes out of your revision to read this, your new bible: (http://www.wikihow.com/Work-Smart,-Not-Hard)

The war on waffle

Seems to me that a business owners greatest enemy is not the recession, its not the government spending review, its not even staff members pilfering pens from the stationary cuboard. It is infact the tendency of employees to waffle.

Whether its spending that little bit of extra time on the phone with the customer which can really only be described as "pub banter", or whether meetings last that extra 20 minutes because Jim just cant get to the point, businesses accross the country are hemmoraging time and energy because of a lock of breivity and a diminishing ability to be concise.

Take the Tories when they broached the very real threat of cyber terrorism (http://tinyurl.com/4kujdm4). As the Register points out politicians are notorious for it. They take your time but dont actually tell you anything and an opportunity to address a real issue and provide something useful is squandered in a cringeworthy meander through confusing territory.

Efficiency in the office gets a pasting from a fellow ranter, the idiotic owl (http://tinyurl.com/4f9o2bf). How many times have you been embroiled in a conversation with someone at University or at work and just wished they would get to the crux of it. Perhaps I am just being impatient but I have a radical theory which I think could make me the idol of Operations Directors everywhere.

My plan is to enforce communication purely in the form of post it notes, namely "If you cant fit it on a post it note then dont say it". Just imagine it, everybody communicating in concise, well thought out and relevant snippets of information.

Gone would be the days of lengthy meetings or fruitless group work. Wordless exchanges of neon painted suggestions would become the currency of business. Offices would become peaceful havens of productivty with only the faint sound of notes being slid accross a desk to distract employees. So next time you are asked a lengthy question by a colleague or fellow student, might I suggest such a response.

Let me know how it goes.

"Sir robot will see you now"

Robots are coming to business. Hopefully not in a Skynet or Space Odyssey kind of incident, but they are coming all the same. The rampage of automation has been growing in pace since the 1800's and in many ways robotics and artificial intelligence is the inevitable destination. The real question is, what will they do?

There are reports of robots taking over teaching in South Korean schools due to a shortage of qualified English teachers (http://tinyurl.com/5t2na2p) which seems a little strange, although perhaps they offer perfect diction and flawless grammar, and what student wouldn't want that? The military is also increasingly employing robots to tackle more dangerous tasks or to provide additional strategic potential (http://tinyurl.com/688udzd).

IBM have hit the jackpot with their newest creation however, A robot boss. Their newest offering is a mainframe computer which can essentially emulate the function of a finance director, presumably the bad jokes and novelty socks are optional software extras. This machine could essentially replace one or more senior directors in an organisation with subordinate (human) staff taking their direction from the number crunching cyber-boss. I for one would have some reservations about taking orders from a machine, however there is the added bonus of an off switch.

The encroaching of robots on our world and now our offices (http://tinyurl.com/4rvl6bs) has got me thinking, what is that we need from bosses? Could they really all be replaced by machines or would we be calling for a leather jacketed Arnie before the end of the working week? 

Personally I think a good boss should lead by example and be prepared to front a team when the going gets rough. They should be experienced but not stuck in their ways, and consistent with their approaches so as not to impose double standards. They should be readily available all day (and night if you are working!), and should try to be unaffected by emotional influences or politics within the office in order to ensure fairness. This A-Z of managment (http://tinyurl.com/47ydl3f) throws in criteria for solid and logical planning and assertiveness without too much dithering.

Funny that most those are the opposite of human nature, some might argue it is time to let the robots have a crack...

Update 17/2/11: IBMs Watson starts to think http://tinyurl.com/4j3m8u2

Selling on a wing and a promise..

Sales is a dirty word to some and a religion to others. Personally I cant help regarding it as a bit of a black art. Prolific sales people seem to use it as a handle on many business challenges and of course sales targets are a fundamental drive to most businesses.

What I wonder about is the driving force of sales. What is the essence that makes peoples blood pressure boil when chasing sales leads and targets? What is the undercurrent which whips otherwise mild mannered people up into blood thirsty commission hunters?

Training courses and sales directors in this field are highly regarded with entire days being spent away from the office, or hours strategising in meeting rooms on how to best ride on the crest of the 'sales wave'. Cold calls are made, then warm calls, and so help you if you dont close.

At the end of the day it all seems to come down to one thing, selling on a promise. A promise of increased efficiency, a promise of popularity, even somewhat dubious promises of sexual magnetism. As a consumer do we ever really hold companies to their promises? All too easy to pick up the newest copy of software for everyone in the office, and promptly resort to performing exactly the same tasks as before making new features redundant. All too easy to buy that new aftershave or moisturiser which promises to take years off and have the opposite sex draping themselves at your feet, and then let it gather dust at the back of the bathroom cabinet. How many of us can honestly say that we reach the spiralling heights that sales teams and marketing professionals offer us on a daily basis.

Smell like an old spice man (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZOm2YhOI4c) is one of the more amusing recent examples. I dont think they could have shoe horned in more glamorisation if they tried which is of course deliberate but illustrates the point. Correct me if I am wrong but the product is for the slightly more geriatric of the population which makes it even more bizarre. Unless they have revised the fragrance they would appear to be promising that your man can smell faintly of working mens club and pipe smoke.

I find myself thinking that if all of the promises made to me by sales people had been true, I would be a sexually charged, super powered efficiency guru who had overwhelmingly good dress sense and the body and poise of a yoga master. Unfortunately this is not the case which leaves me thinking, perhaps I am owed a refund?

Update 26/1/11: 37 Signals point out the folly of the 'Lifetime warranty' sales promise http://37signals.com/svn/posts/2750-think-tanks-no-rhetoric-warranty

"We would like to offer you a gesture of averagewill.."

The phrase "A gesture of goodwill" seems to be bandied around a lot these days. It occurred to me today that more often than that it exactly what it is, a gesture, often a fairly limp one at that.

Increasingly seems like companies will continuously deliver some pretty ropey service or substandard products and wait to see what happens. I sometimes get the feeling that shop assistants know that they are essentially passing off rubbish and are just waiting, tongue in cheek, for someone to mention that the sandwich they have just bought looks like it was found behind a radiator, or that the phone they have just bought might as well be a laptop for the amount it needs charging. All to often we remain silent however.

But when things do go awry it seems like the heavens open, just look at Watchdog which has recently been revived on the BBC by the seething latent mass of customer distaste with what we get for our money. Couple that with the frustration collected from the British pass time of Queueing for everything and you make for a potent cocktail. How many times have you seen the long suffering housewife stalking the supermarket with a menacing look and a large trolley? or the suit wearing executive one mocha away from a brawl in his nearest Costa?

Yet all things considered it is funny how easily placated we are when such a gesture is offered. I have been guilty of turning from an outraged Anne Robinson to a grinning Christine Bleakly at the mere mention of a partial refund on my line rental or a free innocent smoothie.

What I would say is that it seems like you don't get if you don't ask. The silent majority are on the short end of a good deal, and even the most casual of boat rockers seems to put the wind up most retailers these days.

So next time you are mildly dissatisfied, can I suggest a strongly worded letter?

Boy scout business

I often think of starting a Business like starting a fire. Not much need for two sharpened sticks but perhaps there is a lot to be learnt from our faithful outside-dwelling Ray Mears wannabees.

Any good woggle wearer will tell you that to start a fire is all about the preparation. Choose your campsite, gather your tinder and collect your starting twigs. Not much different from choosing a starting office (or bedroom) and gathering up some scraps of money and human resource at the start of a venture.

Next our boy scout will tell us to stack up the twigs into a little shelter and drop the tinder inside. Then time to spark up. Be it from old fashioned flint or from flashy gas powered lighter the spark of your idea needs to be carefully nestled into the shelter.

Regardless of fire lighting badges on your arm or businesses under your belt this is the point of baited breath which requires a good deal of blowing and even more hoping for the best. With any luck the spark takes light and the shelter will roar away nicely. (Alternatively it all goes wrong in which case it might be time to join the rest of society and get a patio heater)

Time for a bit more wood to keep the fire going. Tough choice here as any self-respecting woodsmans will tell you. Unless you have an army of scout subordinates scratching around for more firewood your capital for feeding the fire will be limited. Put on too much and you will be very hot, very fast, but are unlikely to be able to enjoy the marshmellow roasting potential for long. Too little and the fire will be over before it has begun with serial disappointment all round.

The hope is you get a cosy rising warmth from your little project which lasts you through the night. Just don't be too preoccupied staring into the flames otherwise chances are even the most stalwart guitar playing accomplice will make a break for a warmer or more interesting spot.

One thing even Mr Mear's himself will tell you is that eventually you will be left with a few glowing embers, at which point you will either be nursing a pleasant satiation with success, or something a little more chilly.