The Twitter Animal Kingdom

Since my conversion in January of this year I am now a big Twitter advocate. Along with the majority of tech-savvy Businesses and individuals I now regularly converse with Tweeps and am more than happy wallowing in hash tags. The increased exposure has yielded an interesting observation however, that much like most collections of Human Behavior, those using Twitter seem to fall into one of a few categories.

When I pick up a follower notification or stumble upon an interesting looking character, I now found myself slotting them neatly into a group. Not an online group, or even a Twitter list, just an amusing demographic yard stick to try and make sense of the 140 character universe. My Attenboroughs guide to Twitter birds is below...

The Kukaburra - Spammers or self promoters. Users who are either spam-bots or the human equivalent. Senseless and shameless hammering of the same tweets, retweets, or links. Noisy and obnoxious, quickly become tiresome. Naming and shaming @DamnTeenQuote, @Florinemuo, and @jamesvimcmorrow

The Woodpecker - The possessed and deranged account of a hacked user, forced to send bizarre messages and replies to everyone attached to that account like "ROFL this pic i found of you had me dying lol http://t.l9pI". Mindless and irritating, and happy to lay its tweet eggs in others nests. Most recent encounter of this was from @LittleTheatreUK, hope they sorted it out.

The Magpie - A lover of all things shiny, our Twitter Magpies spend most of their time scouring the great web outdoors, looking for an assortment of shiny objects and links to interesting topics. Invariably their news feed will largely be filled with just such little gems and not much else of their own creation. Sometimes guilty of this: @peterwillb and @leepaulkennedy

The Peacock - A frustrated male or female Tweeter who has the urge to display themselves. Using Twitter as another forum to show off their plumage their twitter feed and their image links will be tantamount to a models head shot catalogue of variable quality. Nice enough to listen to, but one too many picture of their guns or their cleavage will most likely have you wanting to fly the nest. Some classic examples from @honeystweet7 and @BigRonColeman.

The Robin - Nice to look at and keeps themselves busy. A general all-round "brighten up your day" tweeter, unfortunately rather rare in the natural environment. Some examples of the endangered species: @TextTonic and @Seema_Shariat , let me know if you find any more!

The Seagull - A glutinous sort, tends to eat a lot and then make a lot of noise about how much they are enjoying themselves. Normally found tweeting about how great their cup of coffee was or how much they are going to enjoy a takeaway tonight. A strange breed without much to actually say, but plenty of enthusiasm to say it. Plenty of examples, you know who you are.

So there you have it, a journey through the unpredictable Avery that is www.twitter.com. How would a twitter ornothologist classify you I wonder?

The Social Fretwork (Gets hacked)

"Everybody and their mums" are on Social Network websites these days. They have gone from being a murky hang out for long haired guitar-playing lotharios to an inescapable part of every day life. Used for everything from business networking, to organising parties, to managing your romantic relationships the age of the 'Online Persona' is truly upon us.


A few times now I have been presented with the defence from Social Network addicts that we should all be "Managing our online image" for both social and career success. To take this as anything but a passive activity frightens me a bit with enough things to manage in life but it does seem to be increasingly important to success. It was one evening last week when I was logged into Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and MySpace all at the same time that I started to feel like a bit of a digital harlot. However the alternative to crouching in the middle of this sprawling web of status updates and friend lists is fade into obscurity before you begin. I was recently told that a prolific Venture Capatalist "doesn't exist" due to his relative abscence from a quick Google search...


But I have alarming news for us all, the safety blanket of these online forums may be snatched all too soon. The scientific eye has turned to social networks and the suggestion is that they might be "undermining people's social skills and their ability to read body language" (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7898510.stm). A worrying thought, couple this with the ever present security risks and investing so heavily in our 'Online Persona' starts to look like a bit of a poison chalice. Even the overlord of the social network revolution is not immune to security breaches, with his own Facebook account being defaced to promote vaguely communist-style funding suggestions (http://tinyurl.com/4svl3px).


By far the most noticeable thing about Social Network use is the bizarre power which it exerts over everyday life. If you have seen 'The Social Network' then you will be familiar with Zuckerberg's aspiration to get people talking and blurring the line between online and real life by using terms like "I'll Facebook you" or "give me a poke". Whilst such comments would have previously raised a few eyebrows, they now flow through conversation as standard. The reality is that things have gone much further.


How many of us compulsively check various social networks as soon as we sit down at a computer? More to the point how many of us use them as a procrastination tool by diving into the inviting torrent of  human babble? The rampage of this kind of social interaction seems to have a shelf life however. Some argue that the reigning champ Facebook has not beaten the now defunct MySpace, but that both have simply had their day (http://tinyurl.com/36xna9c). How long will it be before we see today's "Are you on.....?" turn into tomorrow's "You are still on.....?!.


Personally I think Social Network Harikari will come to them all, so don't forget to back up your photos. (http://tinyurl.com/47mom3u)


**Update 1/2/11: "Nobody is safe" http://www.infoworld.com/d/adventures-in-it/no-ones-facebook-profile-safe-552