The Twitter Animal Kingdom

Since my conversion in January of this year I am now a big Twitter advocate. Along with the majority of tech-savvy Businesses and individuals I now regularly converse with Tweeps and am more than happy wallowing in hash tags. The increased exposure has yielded an interesting observation however, that much like most collections of Human Behavior, those using Twitter seem to fall into one of a few categories.

When I pick up a follower notification or stumble upon an interesting looking character, I now found myself slotting them neatly into a group. Not an online group, or even a Twitter list, just an amusing demographic yard stick to try and make sense of the 140 character universe. My Attenboroughs guide to Twitter birds is below...

The Kukaburra - Spammers or self promoters. Users who are either spam-bots or the human equivalent. Senseless and shameless hammering of the same tweets, retweets, or links. Noisy and obnoxious, quickly become tiresome. Naming and shaming @DamnTeenQuote, @Florinemuo, and @jamesvimcmorrow

The Woodpecker - The possessed and deranged account of a hacked user, forced to send bizarre messages and replies to everyone attached to that account like "ROFL this pic i found of you had me dying lol http://t.l9pI". Mindless and irritating, and happy to lay its tweet eggs in others nests. Most recent encounter of this was from @LittleTheatreUK, hope they sorted it out.

The Magpie - A lover of all things shiny, our Twitter Magpies spend most of their time scouring the great web outdoors, looking for an assortment of shiny objects and links to interesting topics. Invariably their news feed will largely be filled with just such little gems and not much else of their own creation. Sometimes guilty of this: @peterwillb and @leepaulkennedy

The Peacock - A frustrated male or female Tweeter who has the urge to display themselves. Using Twitter as another forum to show off their plumage their twitter feed and their image links will be tantamount to a models head shot catalogue of variable quality. Nice enough to listen to, but one too many picture of their guns or their cleavage will most likely have you wanting to fly the nest. Some classic examples from @honeystweet7 and @BigRonColeman.

The Robin - Nice to look at and keeps themselves busy. A general all-round "brighten up your day" tweeter, unfortunately rather rare in the natural environment. Some examples of the endangered species: @TextTonic and @Seema_Shariat , let me know if you find any more!

The Seagull - A glutinous sort, tends to eat a lot and then make a lot of noise about how much they are enjoying themselves. Normally found tweeting about how great their cup of coffee was or how much they are going to enjoy a takeaway tonight. A strange breed without much to actually say, but plenty of enthusiasm to say it. Plenty of examples, you know who you are.

So there you have it, a journey through the unpredictable Avery that is www.twitter.com. How would a twitter ornothologist classify you I wonder?